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Written by NHC
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Thursday, 23 June 2005 10:57 |
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REVENGE DRIVES A
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ÃÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ´ Copyright (C) 1992 by Timothy Campbell à ÅÅÅÅ ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ´
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Here's a fairly complicated one that just occurred to me...
Let's say your next-door neighbour has just had a cellular phone installed
in his car. You find his boasting about it is quite insufferable. If
you're the kind of person who wastes his time actually DOING these silly
destructive pranks, it's not likely that you'll also be able to afford a
cellular phone. So since you can't "one up" your neighbour by buying a more
expensive cellular phone for your car, what do you do for revenge?
Go to the local shopping mall and find one of those stores that sells
overpriced trinkets to men. You know: tie racks with built- in
calculators, golf-ball roundness gauges, backgammon boards with little nudes
on the pieces ... that kind of thing. I guarantee they'll have a fake
cellular phone kit. "Fool your neighbours!", it says on the box. But
that's not good enough.
Wait until night-time, then sneak over to your neighbour's house and pry off
his cellular antenna with a strong, very sharp knife. This is easier than
it sounds, because the antenna transmits its signal INDUCTIVELY, so there's
no wire through the glass. Now use some "Krazy Glue" to stick on your fake
antenna.
Open up your fake phone and put rocks in it. Close it, then "install" your
fake phone in YOUR car, using your neighbour's REAL antenna in place of the
fake.
The next day, when your neighbour comes out, say, "Hey! I got a cellular
too! Help me test it! Give me a call!"
He'll tap buttons trying to get something to work, but since he now is using
an antenna made of cheap plastic, nothing will happen. Look sympathetic,
then say, "Maybe the network's down. Let me try."
Making sure he can see you, pick up your phone and get ready to dial. Look
bewildered. Heft the phone. "Hey, check this out! Somebody's been screwing
with my phone. I swear it was twice as heavy as this last night..."
Using a screwdriver, open up the phone to reveal to your neighbour the rocks
you'd stuffed inside. Look indignant and say, "Some jerk is playing a
stupid game around here!" Hand your neighbour the screwdriver and get ready
for the fun part.
Your neighbour will, of course, open up his phone. But did you know that
all cellular phones in the U.S. MUST render themselves inoperative if
tampered with? (I know because I worked on designing one, once) Once
opened, it is very likely that the phone will become a useless hunk of
plastic and silicon.
Revenge is complete.
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